Sunday, January 4, 2009

Profile: Bobby Jindal in 2012

Contender: Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal

Official Site

Wikipedia Page

Big Balls Award: As the 25 year old Secretary of the Louisiana department of health, he rescued his state's Medicaid program from bankruptcy.

He was the first non-white to be elected Governor in Louisiana -- the same state that had fun flirting with David Duke.

He supports teaching intelligent design in public schools, which consigns him to the contempt of his Ivy league peers, who can't imagine that we could be the product of anything but a salamander fucking an alligator up the ass (if, indeed, that is how we arrived at ourselves in the evolutionary chart).

Hung Status: To the far right. Jindal is pro-life, and has received a 100% freshness rating from the National Right to Life Committee on abortion issues. He received an "environmental demerit" for sponsoring a bill to allow off-shore drilling over the U.S. Continental Shelf. Got censured by the League of Conservation Voters for that same vote, and receives a 7% lifetime rating from them. We know this -- he won't be forming drum circles anytime soon. He's for a constitutional ammendment banning gay marriage, and HRC gave him a 0% on gay issues in 2006. He's for the death penalty, for both murderers and some rapists. He supports building a fence along the Mexican border, and was given a 100% rating by USBC, indicating a closed-border stance. And on taxes, he's as supply side as you can be.

[For more, see On the Issues, Bobby Jindal]

Why he can win: He's young, he's a minority.

He could unite all wings of the Republican party with his pro-growth, pro-life, America First agenda.

Suburban conservatives, who are uncomfortable with Romney, could look to him as their antidote to the coming Palin 2012 Explosion.

And if 2012 does, indeed, become increasingly divided between Romney and Palin, Jindal could pass them while they're not watching -- that's a very Bobby Jindal thing to do.

Why he can't win: He's young, he's a minority.

Both of which could be good, except for this: if Obama somehow rescues America from panic's grip, he'll be re-elected in a landslide.

If he doesn't, Americans might question handing the country's key to another young minority.

So 2012's timing doesn't appear great for him.

Kenneth the Page. Not a huge deal, but Jindal needs to learn how to Marvin Gaye a teleprompter.

For more GOP 12 Candidate Profiles...

Utah Governor Jon Huntsman, Jr.
Former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin
South Dakota Senator John Thune
Former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford
Minnesota Governor Tim Pawlenty
Former New Mexico Governor Gary Johnson
Florida Governor Charlie Crist
Virginia Congressman Eric Cantor
Former Missouri Treasurer Sarah Steelman
Tennessee Senator Bob Corker
Former Idaho Governor Dirk Kempthorne
South Carolina Senator Jim DeMint

More coming soon...


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